It’s been over a year since arriving in Japan. The sakura is passing as I’m typing this, falling from the trees just as the leaves do in autumn. Along the river today, all I could see were petals dancing in the wind. Where once was white, is now budding green, and many other trees and flowers have followed suit.

There is, however, an absence of the sparkle I once felt from it all. I’ve gone through the waves of heaviness before, and assumed it would lift from me just as the winter has from Tokyo.

But it’s deeper than the season. It’s my situation.

Unmet goals. Expectations misaligned with intent. Dreams clashing with reality.

I keep choosing “what’s easy” instead of “what’s right”.